THE FORMAL BIOGRAPHY

OF THE CHRISTMAS CRACKHEADS

(a.k.a. EVIL ELVES)


Two years ago, Jo Williams, generously gave a bag of Christmas ornaments to
her son Douglas and her daughter Lisa.  Included among the decorations were
three hideously ugly little elves that are now affectionately recognized by the 
monikers "The Christmas Crackheads" or "The Evil Elves".  Since their discovery,
the elves have made numerous surprise appearances in the most unusual places 
during the Christmas holiday (e.g., purses, pillows, inside wrapped gifts, etc.) as 
well as other times of the year (i.e., February 2000 - gift to Douglas).  

Although the original unsightly glory of two of the elves have been perfectly 
preserved through the years, an unfortunate incident befell one of the elves. 
During the winter of 1998, one of the elves suffered a violent mauling by a 
ravenous toy poodle that left it tattered, severely mangled, close to hairless, and
permanently dependent on medications to quell its manic depressive mood swings,
alcoholism, sudden seizures and constant tremors which began as a result of the attack.  

Despite the delicate condition of the ill-fated elf, the other two elves have been very
supportive of he/she/it and have allowed him/her/it to accompany them on their 
exploits in exotic locales around the world when the troubled elf is not in rehab.  
In addition to their global travels, all three elves still remain committed to making 
their special annual trip to Illinois during the Christmas holiday to cause havoc and 
hilarity at the Davis/Williams/Shull/Dreaden family gathering.