Happy September, everyone. Today has been named Evil Elf Accounting Day. I
was inspired to create this new holiday when I saw a picture of Cindy McCain
in the paper last night. (See attached picture, shown with her friends, who
are all about to go sailing.) She looks a bit less like an evil elf than
she used to--perhaps it is the long hair.
Anyway, inspired by Cindy, I retrieved the two e.e. that have been lurking
in my dresser drawer and then went to Doug's website and his Evil Elf
Presentation, which is still very funny and clever. Much to my amazement, I
discovered that neither of my elves is pictured on the website (except for
Elf Cindy). One of you (no doubt the super-organized Lisa) has numbered the
elves, so I can tell you that I have (left to right) Elf #4 and Elf #3.
(Speaking of Elf #3, did you know that he (really a "she," I'm sure) not
only has wings and a pom pom on her hat, plus a gold necklace and knee high
gold boots, but a pom pom BUNNY TAIL hidden discreetly under her shirt?
Where did we get this high maintenance creature?)
Where are the other elves and how many do we have? Have they reproduced in
the years since they came into circulation? (And was that 1998 or earlier?
I can't tell from Doug's timeline.) Is the very sickly-looking one still
alive? Where is the one with no hands? My red guy (#4) seems to be the
twin of one on the website, so they should be reunited ASAP.
It's Evil Elf Accounting Day, so bring forth the ones you have and let's
identify them for all time. Maybe those not numbered could be numbered for
identification purposes on this auspicious occasion.
Happy Evil Elf Accounting Day to you all!
I can tell you that at our cherished and humble home at 2500 Meredith
Street, in the heart of Philadelphia's historic and scenic Art Museum Area,
there are three (3) Evil Elves resting serenely in a basket on the dresser
in my bedroom. They all appeared within days of our return from a beautiful
family gathering that took place on the shores of the Eastern Coast of these
United States, in the little hamlet of Bethany Beach, Delaware. How they
found their way into the bags and boxes that returned with us from that
seaside vista is still a mystery--one which weighs heavily upon me, in fact.
I do know that they, also, have numbers cleverly drawn upon them with some
type of writing instrument (perhaps a pen--maybe of the Sharpie variety?).
Unfortunately, as I am not currently at home and near said basket, there's
no way for me to positively identify them. I verily think, though, that
they shall remain in that basket until such a time as I might check the
significant status of their numerical categorization.
As to when the Elves were begat and whether others have since been begatted
;-), I only know this thusly: it was in the guest bedroom/den of the home of
Lisa and Randolph P. Dexter Dreaden in which the future of the Elves and
their significant impact on the world was determined. Thus, Lisa should
know more precisely their date of inception.
As for further begattation, I do believe that I discovered only this
Christmas holiday season passed, that I, in fact, possessed an Evil Elf that
had been heretofore unaccounted for. For he resided in the deep chamber of
plastic which contained my decorations for the season. That elf did,
verily, make the treacherous journey to the Dexter Dreaden gathering in
rural Ohio, arriving in the dark of night, yet greeted by loving family
members of mine.
I also believe that Jo Davis Williams of the Lincoln sect (who once
proclaimed her allegiance to the Kingdom of the Evil Elves after a head
bonking incident during a game of Fairies and Elves), purchased an Elf
during these past few years (probably during this new Millennia) to add to
That, though, is all I can speak of on this matter for now, as I am at that
ancient hallowed ground known to the Society of Friends as Haverford
College, and it is their silver and gold upon which this message has been